Just a warning, my blog will be a bit inactive over the next few weeks as it’s exam season and I need to revise, so don’t you worry, I’ll be back soon enough with my
relatively average fucking amazing blogging taste ha!
I just found out that the original name for “Operation Enduring Freedom” (aka the war in Afghanistan) was “Operation Infinite Justice.”
Which superhero-obsessed twelve-year-old boy snuck into the White House and came up with these?!
I hate feeling like this. I’ve probably been the happiest I have ever been in the past few weeks and tonight I feel as if everything is falling apart around me. I’m working through things too much in my head, the only time I’m distracted enough to almost forget is when I’m with someone. But I can’t be forever asking someone to come see me when I need company to let me forget everything that has happened.
A friend of mine stayed with me last night. I woke up 3 hours before she did. I had another nightmare; but this one was so real. It felt as if his hands were on my face, around my throat; it felt like it was inside me. I haven’t had anything like this for 2 years now and I was proud of it. I don’t know why but it all just came flooding back. I didn’t even anyone remotely old, or go near a park or anything, it just hit me like a tonne of bricks. I woke up in tears, feeling sick and completely violated. My friend doesn’t know about last night, it would kill her if she knew that I’d woken up in that state and she didn’t do anything. It’s so hard though. I wish I could just forget it happened, but every time I try and get over it, and I’m succeeding, I’ll have a flashback, a nightmare, or I’ll see something that’ll remind me and it pushes me down to my knees.
There are issues in my flat that I live in; there’s one person who is just making life so difficult for the rest of us. I may put on a smile and a smirk and joke about it, but it hurts me. It hurts how I was so close to him - we all were! - and he’s just thrown it back in all of our faces. I would sit in his room for hours and comfort him as he ranted and shouted about how much he liked a girl but she wasn’t interested in him as anything more than a friend. I always made an effort to get to know his group of friends and talk to them whenever they came round as they were always at our flat, and suddenly, he’s fallen out with them because of his pettiness, and his new group of friends are the most disrespectful creatures I’ve ever had the misfortune of seeing in person. Now normally, I don’t get offended easily, but they had their music blaring till 5am, I wouldn’t mind, but it was literally like 2 days before my first exam and I had asked them 4 times to keep it down. He knew I’d been getting up at 8am to study for these exams. It’s so fucking rude. Or, for example, I went down to the kitchen one evening to make myself a cup of tea so I could have a break from my revision, there was 20 people in our kitchen, all of them speaking spanish - or rather shouting in spanish as their music was so loud! - and I walked in and they all fell silent and just looked at me as if I was the scum of the earth, like I was a worthless little speck of dust, and the guy who is in MY flat and supposed to be OUR friend, just rolled his eyes at me and completely ignored me. Baring in mind this is a completely new group of friends, people I have never met before in my life, who does he think he is disrespecting me like that?! He does that, and the next time I walked in for a snack the entire fucking group does it. It was one of the most humiliating experiences of my life.
Oh but it gets worse. Some of his food has gone missing, which is a common occurrence when you share a fridge with 7 other people, and he has left the most aggressive and threatening messages on our flat Facebook wall, to the extent that I am now afraid to walk into my own damn kitchen if I know he is in the flat. I stand outside the door and listen to hear his voice, if I hear it, I’ll go up to my room and wait an hour, if I don’t hear it then I know it’s fine for me to go in without feeling like a complete outsider. And it’s not just me, the other girls in the flat feel the same way. We have tried to organise flat meetings with him to discuss his issue, I mean, it’s not the first time someone’s food has been stolen, but he is the most unreasonable person fathomable. He is ignorant, two-faced, rude; the exact opposite of the person that he was when we met. The tension and anger has escalated to the point that I don’t even want to see his face because I know I will either scream at him or burst into tears. He has accused us all of stealing, not only his food, but his alcohol and at one point even his MP3 player, which might I add went missing AFTER he had his friends round. Why the fuck do I need his shitty little MP3 player, I have my iPhone and my iPod? He’s older than all of us too! He’s 22 and he acts like a 16 year old, moping around like a wounded animal and then threatening us all on Facebook.
To top it all off, my emotions are all over the fucking place. I’m so confused all the time about what I want; and the only thing I know I want -and don’t want to lose - is only gonna be around till September/October. I’m angry about my flatmate situation, I’m scared of my own dreams, I want someone who is moving away to the other side of the fucking planet. Oh, and I have my final exams of the year. Great.
1.4 million wizards on Tumblr!
1.4 MILLION WIZARDS ON TUMBLR
Almost 3 Million!!!!
LET’S GET THIS TO 5 MILLION!!
Let’s get 5 million!!!
I REBLOG THIS EVERY TIME IT’S ON MY DASH.
WE NEED 7 MILLIONTHE NOTES. OH GOD
just about every person on tumblr.
THIRTEEN MILLION GUYS!!!
14 FUCKING MILLIONMy left eye is twitching at the notes